Information Hub / LGBTQ+

Sharing a glass of wine or enjoying a night out with friends is a normal part of life for many people, but when you’re trying to conceive, it’s natural to wonder how alcohol might affect your fertility journey. The research is clear: alcohol can affect both male and female fertility, and even small amounts may make it harder to conceive. 

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Key Facts About Alcohol and Fertility 

• Any amount of alcohol may reduce fertility - there is no “safe” level when trying to conceive. 

• Alcohol affects both men and women - it can impair egg and sperm quality, making conception more difficult. 
• Drinking before conception can affect pregnancy outcomes - heavy or sustained alcohol use is linked to an increased risk of miscarriage and congenital conditions. 

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How does alcohol affect female fertility?

Studies show that alcohol can: 

Surrogacy is an agreement where a woman will carry a baby for a couple or individual who cannot conceive.

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With traditional surrogacy, sperm is inserted into the surrogate and with host surrogacy, an embryo is implanted. Host surrogacy has become more common. The surrogate will carry the baby, give birth and then, if she is still in agreement, hand the baby over to the intended parent(s).

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Who might choose to have a surrogate and why?

Surrogacy is a way that people who cannot conceive themselves, can still be the biological parent or parents of a child. Surrogacy could be an option for a single person, a gay couple or a heterosexual couple who cannot conceive naturally or through IUI or IVF. It’s also a possible option when pregnancy has resulted in many miscarriages because the intended mother has been unable to carry a baby to term, or when there is another medical or physical reason.

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Who might choose to become a surrogate mother?

A woman may choose to become a surrogate mother when she has completed her own family or has no wish to bring up more children at that point in time. In many cases, it’s a feeling of wanting to give other people the chance to become parents that is the driving force to become a surrogate.

In the UK, it is illegal to pay a surrogate, so it is not a means of earning an income. Expenses are provided to the surrogate, such as loss of earnings, maternity clothes and childcare for her own children, so that she is not out of pocket.

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What are the legal implications of surrogacy? 

Although surrogacy is legal in the UK, a surrogacy agreement cannot be enforced by the law. Therefore, the surrogate is the legal parent until she signs the baby over by parental order or adoption to the intended parent(s). If she is married or has a legal partner, they are classed as the other parent, until the baby is signed over to the intended parents. This is the case, even if the intended couple has used their own eggs and sperm.

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How can people find a surrogate in the UK or overseas?

Surrogates are not allowed to advertise in the UK, so individuals or couples in the UK can either contact a non-profit agency for help or look overseas. It is important for the surrogate and intended parents to share a good relationship.

As a surrogate agreement is not enforceable in the UK and there are not enough surrogates available to fill the demand, around half of the people looking for a surrogate, choose to look overseas. In countries where commercial surrogacy is permitted and the intended parents can be named on the birth certificate, it gives more peace of mind and security to the intended parents. However, it is important to seek advice from immigration specialists in both countries, so that the intended parents don’t get stuck overseas.

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What is National

If you want to have a biological connection to your child, then the options open to you might be IUI, IVF, surrogacy or co-parenting. 

If, for some reason, this is not possible for you in your circumstances, you could opt to foster or adopt a child. Fostering and adoption are also first choice options for many people, who wish to provide a secure home for a child who cannot live with their biological parents.

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What is the difference between IUI and IVF and which should I choose?

IUI (intrauterine insemination, is where sperm is inserted directly into the uterus, via a thin tube, around the time of ovulation. This can be done with or without the use of fertility drugs. It is a simpler and less invasive form of ART (assisted reproductive technique) than IVF, with few side-effects. It is suitable for women who have no diagnosed barriers to conception.

IVF (invitro fertilisation) involves multiple hospital visits, fertility drugs, self-injection, egg collection and embryo transfer. If there are issues with blocked or damaged fallopian tubes, then IVF is considered to be a more viable option than IUI.

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As a single female, where can I find donor sperm?

Donor sperm can be obtained from a sperm bank or from someone you know. The sperm will be frozen and screened first, to test for infection or any genetic disorders. It is important to look into what your rights are when using donor sperm.

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As a single male, where can I find a surrogate?

It is illegal to pay a surrogate or to advertise as a surrogate in the UK, so you would have to go through an agency. In addition to this, in the UK, surrogate agreements are not legally enforceable, so the surrogate mother has full parental rights until she signs over those rights after the birth. There is a risk, therefore, that she may decide to keep the baby. 

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What does co-parenting involve?

Co-parenting involves two people who are not a couple, choosing to have a baby together and share parental rights. As with the use of donor sperm or surrogacy, it is really important to have a clear, legal agreement in place and to be aware of your legal rights.

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Would I be eligible for NHS funded IUI or IVF?

In England, single people and same sex couples are often expected to self-fund several cycles of IUI, to prove their infertility, before they will qualify for NHS funded treatment. Each local area also has different restrictions around funded treatment, so it is wise to talk to your GP first to find out if you would qualify for funding.

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Who is eligible to foster and what is involved?

We are Laura-Rose & Stacey, a married couple, who have been together for fifteen years. 

When we first started out on our path to parenthood, there were no support systems or organisations around for same sex couples wanting to start a family together. Everything was set up to cater for the needs of heterosexual couples and there was a massive lack of information available to us. We had to ‘muddle’ through and at times it was disheartening & frustrating. We felt unsupported and isolated without the benefit of others around us to learn from, who had been through similar feelings and experiences.

At the time when we started our journey, we had so many questions.

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What ARE our options? Do we want to carry a child? Who carries? How? How much does it cost? Where can we do it? How do we choose a donor? Where would we find a donor? How long would it take to fall pregnant? What other routes are available for us? The list was endless. 

Throughout our journey, we were often being contacted by others who wanted to know their options too and had those same burning questions that we did. We’d be contacted through social media, work, friends of friends, even in the recovery room after having one of our children! 

It became such a frequent occurrence, that it soon became apparent that there was a need for an organisation & community for people like us. Information needed to be more readily available for LGBT couples who wanted to start their own family too. IVF is challenging for heterosexual couples, but even more complex for same sex couples and it was clear that a support network was needed to help them to deal with everything involved, the practicalities as well as the emotional implications. We knew we had to use our lived experience, knowledge & expertise of dealing with multiple organisations over the years and with that, LGBT MUMMIES (formerly The LGBT Mummies Tribe) was born.

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Over the past eleven years and as our organisation has continued to grow

We have been incredibly lucky to have had three miracle children by IUI & IVF. But our journey wasn’t always easy- over that time we have had a total of 12 cycles & spent in excess of £50k to have our children. We have navigated severe PCOS, miscarriage, multiple failed cycles, a diminished ovarian reserve, birth trauma & trying to conceive during the global pandemic! There were times that it nearly broke us and we thought we wouldn’t be able to continue. with & implications that accompany most LGBT+ journey like lack of funded access to finance children.